Saturday, March 7, 2015

March 7 - I Tried Betsy’s Poetry Idea!


As Betsy suggested on Day 5, I took my March 4th small moment:

In Venice, laundry seems to be more than just a chore. It seems to be a work of art. First, it is pinned and moved along the pulley line to form a perfect composition. As each piece is hung, a piece never drops by accident  or comes loose and falls to the sidewalk or canal below. Then, as it hangs, one piece next to another, a pattern is created. Like a border painted inside a room for decoration, a Venetian's clean clothing decorates a building's facade. Laundry Day brightens up the neighborhood!

I pulled out some words, some phrases.
I wrote as a poem:


Venetian laundry
More than just a chore 
It hangs as a work of art
 
One piece next to another
Pinned along the pulley line
Above the walkways and canals
A colored pattern created
Against a stucco canvas

Venetian laundry
Decorating a building's facade
Brightening up the neighborhood
A perfect composition


Thanks, Betsy!!

18 comments:

  1. Both pieces of writing work well! I love the shape the poem took, centered on the page. Save this post as a great compare/ contrast lesson in prose vs. poetry!

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  2. Both pieces of writing work well! I love the shape the poem took, centered on the page. Save this post as a great compare/ contrast lesson in prose vs. poetry!

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  3. What a neat poem you created! Glad you tried out the exercise. I loved the ending line.

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  4. I love this idea. I really like the paragraph too. They are both very well put together.

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  5. I loved your word choice because it so clearly helped me visualize this scene. The poem has more impact because it makes the scene stay with me longer. Well done!

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  6. I really loved this - the exercise and the final poem. Now - it does make me a little more depressed to do my own laundry today though!

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  7. What a great poem. I liked the image of the laundry as a work of art:
    Venetian laundry
    More than just a chore
    It hangs as a work of art
    In the first piece there was something that reminded me of my own laundry hanging one particularly clear blue sky day. . . I think it was, well, the whole thing, I could almost smell the clean laundry reading this. . .-Amy

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  8. What a great poem. I liked the image of the laundry as a work of art:
    Venetian laundry
    More than just a chore
    It hangs as a work of art
    In the first piece there was something that reminded me of my own laundry hanging one particularly clear blue sky day. . . I think it was, well, the whole thing, I could almost smell the clean laundry reading this. . .-Amy

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  9. You did it! I appreciated reading your first draft and then the crafting of the poem. I think the poem makes the imagination work harder -- I had such a visual of the laundry hanging in the streets. Beautiful!

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  10. I love this idea. I really like the paragraph too. They are both very well put together.

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  11. The poem really works. What great imagery.

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  12. Who would have thought laundry can be so beautiful!

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  13. This is great! What a great way to use Betsy's work as a mentor text.

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  14. The original (Prose) is sooo good. It reads like a prose poem.
    Both work well.'
    Great snapshot.

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  15. This is great, Sally! I love the image of the laundry hanging like works of art. Richard Wilbur wrote a stunning poem that begins with laundry: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171793
    Thanks for sharing your poem!

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